My Story
With this page I'd like to tell you my story. It includes pain and trauma, hard work, and the goals achieved. I'm proud of what I've accomplished in the face of adversity.
I was born the youngest child in a family of 6 siblings. We were an Air Force family, which meant moving a lot. For me, as the youngest, however, there wasn't as much of it. I was born in Ohio, and we lived there until I was 2 years old and we moved to sunny Key West, Florida.
It was in Key West that I became sick and was soon diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. My Mom has speculated over many possible causes - one being a spider/insect bite. There is some science that suggests that autoimmune diseases are initiated, or triggered, by an environmental incident, so this could have been the case with me. Of course, we'll probably never know for sure.
The first years were especially difficult. I was in the hospital with congestive heart failure at age 3. I learned 40 years later that my parents solemnly sat down with my siblings and told them there was a chance that they wouldn't be bringing me home from the hospital. It was quite an emotional moment when I learned about that.
Growing up with a severe case of rheumatoid arthritis created significant challenges. I was unable to walk and, therefore, used a wheelchair (or was carried) at various times. I wore leg braces (think of the scene from Forrest Gump). And of course, there were always hospital stays - and lots and lots of physical therapy.
I remember being carried into/out of school, as well as to/from the cafeteria for lunch, throughout the first grade. In the second or third grade, I can remember a friend sitting with me during recess (because I was unable to participate) and telling me stories to pass the time. Oh, boy, Robbie Simpson was his name, and what a storyteller! I don't remember many details, but I clearly remember that he told a story about the time that he and Cher were kidnapped together in the woods by Indians (this was the mid 1970's). Thankfully, Robbie was able to free them and lead Cher back to safety. (Don't ask me - I'm just retelling his most memorable story!)
In the fifth grade, a boy in my class named Ashley Stewart made fun of me for my handicap. My Mom suggested I use the "kill 'em with kindness" approach and befriend Ashley. I did, but I never truly liked him. I can't imagine why.
I was in a wheelchair again from the end of seventh grade through the tenth grade. Those formative adolescent years were difficult. I felt ugly and undesirable. I have realized many years later where these self image issues came from. During many of my hospital stays as a child, the doctors would lead a team of interns around every morning. When they got to me, the doctor would give the interns my medical history, then he/she would lift my wrists or knees and feet and show the interns my "gross deformities". So, from the age of approximately 5 until 16, I heard medical experts describe me as both gross and deformed, over and over again. It's a shame that doctors don't pay more attention to the power of their words.
Junior high school was also the time of intensive physical and occupational therapy. Every summer for 4 or 5 consecutive years, I spent approximately 8 weeks alone in a hospital that was 2 hours from my family. Each morning I had physical therapy for an hour plus, and then occupational therapy for an hour plus. Both repeated in the afternoon. Five days a week. All summer long. My family didn't stay with me, but they came to visit on weekends as often as they could. How did you spend your summers as a youth?
Around the time I graduated from high school, the rheumatoid arthritis went into remission, as is common with the juvenile version. I was walking, attended junior college, and life became good. I knew from the small circle of close friends in school that I had a like-able personality, but I felt pigeon-holed as the smart, quiet kid. I actively chose the opportunity of a new school to reshape my persona.
At Macon Junior College (now Macon State College), I was outgoing, not shy, and had hundreds of acquaintances and friends. I was elected Student Government Vice President and was active in the student union. My social life flourished. I also worked as Associate Editor of the school newspaper and was constantly busy. My parents had been instilling in me from a young age a strong sense of empowerment - that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. I feel like this period in junior college was the proving ground. When I discuss that we have the power to consciously create our lives as we choose, this is often what I think of.
I earned an Associate degree in Journalism, and then at Georgia College earned a Bachelors degree in Marketing. I moved to the big city of Atlanta and started my career. Life was great. I was rooming with my best friend, Paul. I began dating again my girlfriend from college days. And then tragedy.
My girlfriend/fiance was taking Paxil for depression, but, unfortunately, she was not being followed by a psychiatrist. The change in her was obvious, but at the time, we did not know the warning signs. As we were planning our wedding for 5 months later, and our life together beyond, she committed suicide in a one car accident. My life was shattered. Honestly, I'm not sure how I survived. I credit my friends, and especially my close-knit family, with providing the support that helped carry me through it. And an auto-pilot within me. I can remember behaving in very self-destructive ways and yet, taking vitamins for my health.
It's been 25+ years. Even with a lot of reflection and counseling, I'm still not sure of all the ways that event shaped my successive years. The pain eventually faded. It's true that time heals wounds, but sometimes it can take a lot of time. I think many times we grieve for the loss of a dream, or vision, in addition to grieving the loss of the person. Sometimes I think my travels and other adventures have been an attempt to make up for lost time. Make up for a life that didn't go as planned. Maybe if I squeeze a few more adventures and stories from life, it will erase the pain, fill a void that was caused by her sudden departure, the loss of that dream.
Actually, I'm very proud of my many accomplishments. I have owned a bar and grill as well as a house cleaning company. I've been hang gliding in Tennessee and parasailing in the Gulf of Mexico. I've flown in a helicopter over Maui, a Cessna over Atlanta Hartsfield International airport, and a glider over the desert of Arizona. I swam with dolphins in the Bahamas, petted sting rays off the Cayman Islands, and have been snorkeling at Molokini off the coast of Maui. I've eaten sushi at a sidewalk vendor in the Tokyo fish market and seen the Sydney Opera House. I have visited the Highlands of Scotland, the Panama Canal, Italy and the Greek island of Santorini. Not bad for someone whose parents were advised to place me in special education classes and expect me to be a ward of the state for my entire life. Wouldn't you agree?
Chronology
During the course of writing this bio, it occurred to me that it might be helpful to read a chronology of medical events - to give some perspective. So, here goes....
Age 2 diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis
Age 3 congestive heart failure
Age 5 unable to walk as I started elementary school
Age 12 doctors wanted to replace my painful right hip. My parents said No. They felt I was too young. In a wheelchair for the next 3+ years.
Age 13 broke my left femur. Half body cast for 8 weeks. For the next 21 years, I was unable to bend my knee more than 20 degrees or so, until knee replacement surgery.
Age 17 wrist replacement surgery. For 5 days, it was the most intense pain I'd ever felt. The painful experience discouraged me from getting any other joints replaced for a long time.
Age 34 knee replacement surgery. Couldn't stand the pain any longer so I had the most painful knee replaced. Figured I would wait a couple years to replace the other knee.
Age 35 only 5 months later, I had the other knee replaced because the results were amazing! New knees literally changed my life!
Age 40 hip replacement surgery.
Age 42 spinal laminectomy. Due to severe spinal stenosis, they removed part of the spine so my spinal cord would have room, and the inserted a metal rod, fusing my spine from T2 to T5. Readmitted on the day I left the hospital due to an ileus (an almost complete blockage of my colon from all the pain meds). Wore a back brace for several months. Full recovery period was 12 - 18 months .
Age 51 left hip replacement. Issues with the stem subsiding into the femur. Will require another surgery to correct the issue.
Age 52 fell and broke left femur, again. Surgery to repair. 6 days in the hospital. 6 weeks in skilled nursing facility.
Age 52 another spinal laminectomy and fusion (T2 to T10 this time). 3 nights in ICU. 3 nights in regular room. 2 weeks in skilled nursing. As of September 2019, I'm back at work and planning my next travel adventure.
I was born the youngest child in a family of 6 siblings. We were an Air Force family, which meant moving a lot. For me, as the youngest, however, there wasn't as much of it. I was born in Ohio, and we lived there until I was 2 years old and we moved to sunny Key West, Florida.
It was in Key West that I became sick and was soon diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. My Mom has speculated over many possible causes - one being a spider/insect bite. There is some science that suggests that autoimmune diseases are initiated, or triggered, by an environmental incident, so this could have been the case with me. Of course, we'll probably never know for sure.
The first years were especially difficult. I was in the hospital with congestive heart failure at age 3. I learned 40 years later that my parents solemnly sat down with my siblings and told them there was a chance that they wouldn't be bringing me home from the hospital. It was quite an emotional moment when I learned about that.
Growing up with a severe case of rheumatoid arthritis created significant challenges. I was unable to walk and, therefore, used a wheelchair (or was carried) at various times. I wore leg braces (think of the scene from Forrest Gump). And of course, there were always hospital stays - and lots and lots of physical therapy.
I remember being carried into/out of school, as well as to/from the cafeteria for lunch, throughout the first grade. In the second or third grade, I can remember a friend sitting with me during recess (because I was unable to participate) and telling me stories to pass the time. Oh, boy, Robbie Simpson was his name, and what a storyteller! I don't remember many details, but I clearly remember that he told a story about the time that he and Cher were kidnapped together in the woods by Indians (this was the mid 1970's). Thankfully, Robbie was able to free them and lead Cher back to safety. (Don't ask me - I'm just retelling his most memorable story!)
In the fifth grade, a boy in my class named Ashley Stewart made fun of me for my handicap. My Mom suggested I use the "kill 'em with kindness" approach and befriend Ashley. I did, but I never truly liked him. I can't imagine why.
I was in a wheelchair again from the end of seventh grade through the tenth grade. Those formative adolescent years were difficult. I felt ugly and undesirable. I have realized many years later where these self image issues came from. During many of my hospital stays as a child, the doctors would lead a team of interns around every morning. When they got to me, the doctor would give the interns my medical history, then he/she would lift my wrists or knees and feet and show the interns my "gross deformities". So, from the age of approximately 5 until 16, I heard medical experts describe me as both gross and deformed, over and over again. It's a shame that doctors don't pay more attention to the power of their words.
Junior high school was also the time of intensive physical and occupational therapy. Every summer for 4 or 5 consecutive years, I spent approximately 8 weeks alone in a hospital that was 2 hours from my family. Each morning I had physical therapy for an hour plus, and then occupational therapy for an hour plus. Both repeated in the afternoon. Five days a week. All summer long. My family didn't stay with me, but they came to visit on weekends as often as they could. How did you spend your summers as a youth?
Around the time I graduated from high school, the rheumatoid arthritis went into remission, as is common with the juvenile version. I was walking, attended junior college, and life became good. I knew from the small circle of close friends in school that I had a like-able personality, but I felt pigeon-holed as the smart, quiet kid. I actively chose the opportunity of a new school to reshape my persona.
At Macon Junior College (now Macon State College), I was outgoing, not shy, and had hundreds of acquaintances and friends. I was elected Student Government Vice President and was active in the student union. My social life flourished. I also worked as Associate Editor of the school newspaper and was constantly busy. My parents had been instilling in me from a young age a strong sense of empowerment - that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. I feel like this period in junior college was the proving ground. When I discuss that we have the power to consciously create our lives as we choose, this is often what I think of.
I earned an Associate degree in Journalism, and then at Georgia College earned a Bachelors degree in Marketing. I moved to the big city of Atlanta and started my career. Life was great. I was rooming with my best friend, Paul. I began dating again my girlfriend from college days. And then tragedy.
My girlfriend/fiance was taking Paxil for depression, but, unfortunately, she was not being followed by a psychiatrist. The change in her was obvious, but at the time, we did not know the warning signs. As we were planning our wedding for 5 months later, and our life together beyond, she committed suicide in a one car accident. My life was shattered. Honestly, I'm not sure how I survived. I credit my friends, and especially my close-knit family, with providing the support that helped carry me through it. And an auto-pilot within me. I can remember behaving in very self-destructive ways and yet, taking vitamins for my health.
It's been 25+ years. Even with a lot of reflection and counseling, I'm still not sure of all the ways that event shaped my successive years. The pain eventually faded. It's true that time heals wounds, but sometimes it can take a lot of time. I think many times we grieve for the loss of a dream, or vision, in addition to grieving the loss of the person. Sometimes I think my travels and other adventures have been an attempt to make up for lost time. Make up for a life that didn't go as planned. Maybe if I squeeze a few more adventures and stories from life, it will erase the pain, fill a void that was caused by her sudden departure, the loss of that dream.
Actually, I'm very proud of my many accomplishments. I have owned a bar and grill as well as a house cleaning company. I've been hang gliding in Tennessee and parasailing in the Gulf of Mexico. I've flown in a helicopter over Maui, a Cessna over Atlanta Hartsfield International airport, and a glider over the desert of Arizona. I swam with dolphins in the Bahamas, petted sting rays off the Cayman Islands, and have been snorkeling at Molokini off the coast of Maui. I've eaten sushi at a sidewalk vendor in the Tokyo fish market and seen the Sydney Opera House. I have visited the Highlands of Scotland, the Panama Canal, Italy and the Greek island of Santorini. Not bad for someone whose parents were advised to place me in special education classes and expect me to be a ward of the state for my entire life. Wouldn't you agree?
Chronology
During the course of writing this bio, it occurred to me that it might be helpful to read a chronology of medical events - to give some perspective. So, here goes....
Age 2 diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis
Age 3 congestive heart failure
Age 5 unable to walk as I started elementary school
Age 12 doctors wanted to replace my painful right hip. My parents said No. They felt I was too young. In a wheelchair for the next 3+ years.
Age 13 broke my left femur. Half body cast for 8 weeks. For the next 21 years, I was unable to bend my knee more than 20 degrees or so, until knee replacement surgery.
Age 17 wrist replacement surgery. For 5 days, it was the most intense pain I'd ever felt. The painful experience discouraged me from getting any other joints replaced for a long time.
Age 34 knee replacement surgery. Couldn't stand the pain any longer so I had the most painful knee replaced. Figured I would wait a couple years to replace the other knee.
Age 35 only 5 months later, I had the other knee replaced because the results were amazing! New knees literally changed my life!
Age 40 hip replacement surgery.
Age 42 spinal laminectomy. Due to severe spinal stenosis, they removed part of the spine so my spinal cord would have room, and the inserted a metal rod, fusing my spine from T2 to T5. Readmitted on the day I left the hospital due to an ileus (an almost complete blockage of my colon from all the pain meds). Wore a back brace for several months. Full recovery period was 12 - 18 months .
Age 51 left hip replacement. Issues with the stem subsiding into the femur. Will require another surgery to correct the issue.
Age 52 fell and broke left femur, again. Surgery to repair. 6 days in the hospital. 6 weeks in skilled nursing facility.
Age 52 another spinal laminectomy and fusion (T2 to T10 this time). 3 nights in ICU. 3 nights in regular room. 2 weeks in skilled nursing. As of September 2019, I'm back at work and planning my next travel adventure.
